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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444045">Bloody Roses ( Kylo Ren x reader )</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakespeareshelena/pseuds/shakespeareshelena'>shakespeareshelena</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, Dominant Kylo Ren, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Force-Sensitive Reader, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Top Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:07:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakespeareshelena/pseuds/shakespeareshelena</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You find yourself in a hospital bed without any memory. It is as if someone erased everything from your previous life. Starting your new life as a nurse in the same hospital you woke up in has been challenging. Especially when you realized that you were way better at helping your patients than the other nurses due to a secret you couldn't even tell your best friend. When you get promoted to work with the First Order on Starkiller Base, you are excited to get off Corstris but somehow the commander does not seem to be happy to see you at first...</p>
<p>*******<br/>Hey! This is my first Fan Fiction. English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes I will be making!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Solo/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Offer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You had the same dream as usual.</p>
<p>In your sleep, you found yourself surrounded by beautiful wide fields surrounded by cliffs. When you turned you would find a rather old but beautiful looking building. You would have guessed it to be some sort of temple if there weren't the laughs and joyful screams of children surrounding it.</p>
<p> Sometimes you would even find yourself almost seeing them running around but every time you got close to seeing their faces they would disappear in thin air. It was like grasping for something only for it to slip away. It was extremely frustrating, but you started to love this place in your dreams that functioned as your escape from your reality. Not that you had an awful life on Corstris but that island in the middle of nowhere you saw in your sleep gave you the feeling of home you were longing for.</p>
<p>When you started to dream of your secret hideaway at first,  you were convinced that it was a place from your past but every time you tried to research this place you ended up with empty hands and no one seemed to know what you were talking about. </p>
<p>Someday you came to the conclusion that you must have made this place up simply because you couldn't remember your real home. In your hopeless and longing you just started to manifest your wishes into a place that did not exist, creating a false reality.</p>
<p>It had been three years since you woke up without even knowing your name or where you came from. </p>
<p>You had been found unconscious in the middle of the night not far from the hospital's entrance with severe burnings. It took you a few days before you even woke up but when you finally did, you found yourself in a hospital with a concerned man sitting right next to you.</p>
<p>He introduced himself as "Doctor Keel" and then proceeded to ask you for your name just for you to realize that you did not know it. You felt the panic swelling up in your body when you realized that you also could not recall a single another thing about yourself, but Doctor Keel managed to calm you down. He explained how they found you as well as how they treated your injuries which freaked you out even more because, why the hell did you have burnings scattered all over your arms?</p>
<p>Even years later you did not know the answer to this question or in fact, anything about your mysterious appearance. </p>
<p>All you needed to know was that those people took you in and cared for you without expecting anything in return. They did not care if you had money to pay for your treatments or if you were some sort of criminal. All they did care about was to help.</p>
<p>At first you only felt gratitude for the hospital team but while they helped you to recover you started to love and care for those people as well. </p>
<p>You knew that this might have to do with the fact that you simply had no one else in your life or a place to go but after your recovery you asked if they could teach you to become a nurse so you could repay what you owed them. Even though doctor Keel always reassured you that they did not expect anything for you, you desperately wanted to stay at the hospital. In the weeks of your recovery, the hospital felt like a place you could see yourself long-term and you realized that you wanted to do what the nurses did. You wanted to help the helpless people. </p>
<p>Maybe because you knew how it feels like to be helpless and at your lowest point or maybe because you still felt helpless.</p>
<p>You hated this feeling, but you could still feel it creeping up on you late at night when you thought about what could have been your past. </p>
<p>Three years later and you still did not know your real name or anything about you. Sometimes it felt like you could feel certain things but when you tried to focus on them, they faded away like the faces of the children on the lost island. </p>
<p>When talking about your nonexistent past with your "family" at the hospital you always pretended to be okay with the fact that you did not know anything about your past life because you were too focused on the present, but it ate you up inside. Not knowing your age, your name or your parents was something you despised every second of your existence. Even though you found great joy at your job and started to love the people around you, you always felt like you did not belong. </p>
<p>You could not explain it at first thinking it must be because you do not remember your past, but with the time you realized that you were in fact different.</p>
<p>It happened towards the end of your first year.</p>
<p> Your friend and mentor Lexi asked you to assist together with her in a surgery led by doctor Keel when you first felt it. It was like your fingers were burning and you felt an intense itch to take a closer look at the wound of the patient at the table in front of you.</p>
<p> It was like something pulled you closer to the table. You did not even notice how Lexi left the room to prepare for surgery as you stepped closer to the patient lifting your hand slightly to brush over the wound. If doctor Keen caught you doing this, he probably would have yelled at you. Hell, he would have kicked you out for that. Touching a patient's wound? And without gloves? You knew what you were doing was insane, but it felt like the right thing and when you brushed over the bloody hole in the body you saw how the wound slowly started to shrink. </p>
<p>When you realized what was happening you flinched away like you had been burned. You were shocked without an explanation of what just happened. As soon as you took your hand away the wound stopped shrinking but you could clearly see that it was smaller now.</p>
<p>When Lexi returned you pretended that nothing happened, hiding your shaking hands behind your back. You slowly watched as Lexi continued to prepare for surgery and waited for her to realize what you had done but all she said when she saw the wound was "Huh. This was way bigger in my memory" and laughed about her bad short-term memory, cracking jokes about you having a better memory despite not remembering most of your life.</p>
<p>You never told anyone about what you did.</p>
<p> Hell, you did not even know what you did and how you did it. All you knew was that you could help in a way others couldn't. During your apprenticeship, you tried to hide your little trick, and no one ever caught on. </p>
<p>They all just joked you had "magic hands" healing even the ones on the verge of death. In the last few years, you never quite got used it and you tried to not use it too often because it would exhaust you too much. You always ended up eating almost the whole buffet in the cafeteria whenever you used your trick but helping others really brought you some sort of purpose. </p>
<p>You loved your job as well as your colleagues which is why it hurt a when doctor Keel left almost half a year ago because of his promotion to the First Order.</p>
<p>You missed him dearly since he left but when you made your way to get your lunch this particular day, after taking a nap before you next shift, you could not believe your eyes as you saw him sitting at your desk devouring your sandwich.</p>
<p>Happiness flooded your body as you saw him, forgetting about the sandwich you had been looking forward to.</p>
<p>"What are you doing here?" you asked, stumbling forward to embrace him in a tight hug.</p>
<p>"I am here to change your life my dear", he said dramatically while trying to take another bite of your lunch which kind of made his efforts to sound dramatic useless.</p>
<p>To be fair doctor Keel had always been the type of person to give weird and funny remarks and jokes at the most inappropriate events, but you really did not know what he could mean by that remark.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" you asked. "Why are you here? Are you coming back?"</p>
<p>He shook his head.</p>
<p>"The First Order is running short on medical staff lately", doctor Keel explained while popping the last bite of your sandwich in his mouth. "They asked me to bring a few nurses back with me to Starkiller base."</p>
<p>"How are they running low on nurses?" you wondered. "I mean how can you lose so much medical staff?"</p>
<p>He sighed before wiping away the crumbs that fell on his coat. "Listen. I am not going to lie. Working for the First Order is definitely exciting. Especially when all you have known your entire life is Corstris. They pay well and the job is not much different from what you do here, but it can be dangerous."</p>
<p>"What exactly do you mean by that?"</p>
<p>"Well, sometimes the Resistance tries to attack the base or medical staff is send off on missions as well to care for the First Order. Not all of them make it back", he explained. "But I wouldn't want to take you with me if I did not know that you are ready for this."</p>
<p>"Ah, I see you finally found an opportunity to get rid of me", you joked but could not help to feel nervous about what he was saying. You quickly tried to shake off the feeling of anxiety rising up inside of you, asking him another question. "So, who else do you want to take with you?"</p>
<p>"Lexi for sure", he said looking relieved that you have not said no yet. "Maybe Laura and doctor Bail as well."</p>
<p>"Why are you asking me to join you then? I mean I have not even finished all my training yet. I still have a few months to go."</p>
<p>You were not sure how to feel about his offer. Sure, it was intriguing to go and try something new. Corstris was not exactly the most exciting planets. You loved the wide forests and lakes, but you couldn't help to long for something else. Something new. Since you woke up in this hospital three years ago, you barely left the town. Leaving the planet was never an option. You did not know a whole lot about the First Order but you knew they were important and helping something that is working for a greater cause would maybe finally give you a purpose."</p>
<p>"Why I am asking you?" Doctor Keel could not help but laugh at your question. "June, you are one of my best nurses despite the fact that you officially have not finished your training yet. "</p>
<p>"Also", he continued "you are probably one of the few people that will say yes to this."</p>
<p>June was the name they gave you. They said it would only be a temporary name until you would remember your real name, but that day never came. So, you were stuck with June, the name of the month they found you in. Not very creative but it was fulfilling the purpose of having something people could refer to when talking to you. Even though years passed by you still felt a little strange when people said that name out loud. It was as if your body knew that it was not your real name.</p>
<p>"Did Lexi agreed to come with you?" you asked with hope in your voice. Lexi was a few years older than you and your mentor but also best friend. You could not imagine staying on Corstris, if she were to leave.</p>
<p>Doctor Keel laughed, "She did ask me the exact same thing about you."</p>
<p>"Don't worry", he continued " I know you both will be great on the base."</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Lunatic Toddler</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello!</p><p>I was so surprised to see that people actually left Kudos on my first chapter? It made me so so happy. Thanks for everyone who reads this I guess! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been difficult adjusting to your new home. </p><p>Starkiller base was unlike anything you had ever seen. Well, you hadn't seen a lot in your life anyway but it was just the opposite of everything you knew. </p><p>While there seemed to be not a single spot not covered with large trees and lakes on Corstris, you had not even spotted a house plant on the ship. Everything was dark and it was cold wherever you went. You rarely saw people's faces when they were not lying in a hospital bed in front of you. It appeared as if almost everyone was always wearing their helmets even when they were off duty. </p><p>You quickly learned that smiling at people passing by was not a common thing either. </p><p>The first days on Star Killer base you spend your few days exploring the base with Lexi and the people passing by would shoot you weird looks when you smiled at them. Greetings were also ignored almost every single time. </p><p>But you had always been a rather optimistic and cheerful person. Well at least during the years you could remember. So when you passed the frowning man hurrying towards you on your way to the cafeteria after work, you gave him a polite smile.</p><p>"Good evening!" you exclaimed while passing him, already thinking about what food the ship might offer today and if Lexi was already waiting for you when you felt a tight grip on your arm.</p><p>"If you already feel the need to address me, I suggest you better do it properly", a voice muttered from behind you. The grip on your arm loosened and you turned around facing the red-headed that you were passing.</p><p>"Uh, I am sorry Sir", you said nervously staring at his arm that was still holding on to your arm. " I did not mean to offend you. I just wanted to wish you a good evening. "</p><p>He eyed you for a few seconds before finally letting go of your arm. </p><p>"The next time you feel the need to speak to me it better be of great importance", he said straightening his back.  </p><p>" Holding up a general from his work is not something I want to see again. Do you understand that? "</p><p>" Yes, Sir", you replied bowing your head slightly. " I am sorry, Sir."</p><p>His gaze lingered on you for a few more moments before he turned around and headed the way you came from. You watched how he disappeared around a corner before you also decided to go your initially intended way.</p><p>When you finally managed to arrive at the cafeteria you tried to find Lexi in the crowd but the room was crowded with people. You mostly saw stormtroopers but here and there you could see the black scrubs the medical staff was equipped with. Anxiety started to creep up your body. This ship was so different from your home on Corstris and whenever you were alone on Starkiller base you felt anxious. You couldn't explain why but it felt like you should not be there. It has only been a few days since you arrived and you felt fine most of the time. But as soon as you were alone, you could feel how anxious you felt. You tried to tell yourself that you only felt this way because you never left that little hospital on Corstris, but you were not sure if that was the only reason you felt his way.</p><p>Suddenly you heard someone calling your name and you looked around trying to find the source when you spotted Laura waving at you.</p><p>Laura was another nurse that agreed to come to the base with you and Lexi. She was a lot older than Lexi and you, probably in her forties, but you still enjoyed talking with her. </p><p>Back on Corstris, there wasn't someone you didn't get along with. It felt like you all were some sort of family. Except they also had families or homes of their own to go to at the end of the day, while you always stayed at the hospital. This was different now on the base. Now you all lived here and you wouldn't have to feel like some sort of misfit. </p><p>As soon as you spotted Laura, you hurried to her table where you also saw Lexi and Kayla, who was also a nurse from Corstris. </p><p>"You are late", Lexi remarked. "What were you doing?"</p><p>You sighed. "Well, I got a little bit lost at first and then I ran into this really grumpy general that apparently does not like to be told to have a good evening." </p><p>"What? Did you catch his name?" Kayla asked.</p><p>"No", you said eyeing the long line of the cafeteria. "But he had red hair and he wasn't really tall. He reminded me of a Weasle or something." </p><p>"Oh, that must have been General Hux", Laura said and Kayla nodded. "Yeah, he is like a really big deal around here."</p><p>"Well, I don't care what his name is or if he is important around here", you replied still staring at the food line debating if it was worth it to go now or if you should wait. "All I know is that he is a massive dick."</p><p>Lexi laughed. " I haven't met him but I will just trust you on that. And now stop staring at the food. I got an extra big portion so we could share", she said holding up two forks winking. </p><p>" I love you so much right now", you declared while she just laughed and gave you the fork.</p><p>"And now let's get done with dinner lady. We need rest before we finally start real work around here tomorrow", Laura added, "Especially June needs the rest for tomorrow."</p><p>***</p><p>Sleep did not come easy to you. You never had trouble falling asleep before you came on the base but since you arrived, you did not even have one peacefully night. The small room you lived in was insanely cold and you felt caged which was weird because your room in the hospital you worked at had been even smaller. </p><p>When you woke up the next morning you were already late for your shift. Sleep must have overcome you at some point leading to almost oversleeping. You glanced at the tiny clock next to your bed. You could still make it if you left now. </p><p>Being angry at yourself for forgetting to set an alarm, you hurried to get ready. Internally you were cursing. How could you be so stupid? Especially, since today you had an examination.</p><p>Since you weren't technically a real nurse yet, the First Order would put you through a few tests before you could finally get your certificate. One of those exams was today and you did not want to be late.</p><p>You practically ran through the halls hoping you were heading the right way, while you yelled apologies at the people you were running around and over. When you finally burst into the medical wing you saw doctor Keel already waiting for you.</p><p>You opened your mouth to mutter an apology but he spoke before you had the chance to. "I don't even want to hear it", he said. " Let's just get started." </p><p>Nodding you reached for your name tag at the register before following him into the room with the patients. You knew today wouldn't be too difficult. No surgeries were scheduled, so you probably only would have to do some easier treatments. </p><p>Doctor Keel had already explained to you that you would be assisting him with patients that needed psychiatric help today before you would take your exam when Laura stumbled into the room. Her face was pale and she was breathing heavily like she had been running through the whole medical bay. You had never seen her look so anxious. She was one of the more experienced nurses on the ship and she was usually really good at being calm and collected.</p><p>She was saying something but you couldn't hear her. Laura was standing on the other side of the glass wall that was installed in the room, creating a soundproof area. Since this room was used to discuss confidential information about medication, no one on the other side of the room was able to hear what was being discussed on the other side. The doctor quickly tipped in the code on your side of the wall and it disappeared into the ground.</p><p>"Doctor Keel!", she practically shouted " we need you. Right now."</p><p>He didn't even hesitate for a second before he started following Laura, gesturing you to come along as well. Anxious to see what Laura was talking about, you stuck with them walking into the entrance of the medical bay again. The funny thing was that it didn't look like the entrance anymore. The whole hall was vandalized. </p><p>Chairs were broken, windows were shattered and a table was sliced neatly into two halves - and that wasn't even half of the chaos in the room. There weren't a lot of people around either. The few nurses you could spot were all hiding.</p><p>"What happened?" I asked breathlessly. I had never seen anything like this before. It looked like there had been an attack on the medical wing but instead of attacking people, only the furniture was harmed. I mean, that was obviously something positive but it was still confusing.</p><p>" A man stormed in here exclaiming he needed medical help but he didn't seem to be injured that bad so I asked him to sign our documents and to wait until we would see him but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He just ye-", Laura started to explain but was cut off by a loud crash coming out of the registration room to her left.</p><p>Doctor Keel let out a long and devastating sigh before carefully walking towards the room.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Laura whispered looking at him like he was insane and you could honestly understand why she would think that.  </p><p>"Don't worry. This -", he gestured towards the mess in the room " this happens sometimes."</p><p>Your eyes wandered towards Laura who looked like she was about to pass out.</p><p>"This happens sometimes?" she asked with a shrill voice. " In my twenty-year work experience I have never seen som-", Laura added but was again cut off. This time it was a clangorous female scream coming outside the registration room.</p><p>Doctor Keel hurried towards the door but before he could open it, the door had already been torn down and Lexi stumbled out of the room with a look on her face that made a shiver run down your spine. You had never seen Lexi like this before. </p><p>Lexi was an amazing nurse. </p><p>You could still remember the day she was announced your mentor like it was yesterday. You were filled with pride that you could learn from her. Years later the respect you had for her had only grown and you were honored to call her your best friend as well. She was always in a good mood. You were almost sure that she was responsible for your own cheerful personality since you were always around her beginning the day you woke up in the hospital.</p><p>But now you could not recognize her. She looked terrified as she hurried towards safety and out of the room. You wanted to go over to her to make sure that she was okay but then you saw a figure walking out of the registration room and your heart stopped for a second.</p><p>A gorgeous, tall, black-haired man marched out of the room with a look on his face that could kill. In his hand was - well you did not know what it was, but it looked dangerous. It looked like some sort of laser weapon buzzing red. You almost wanted to compare it to the swords you had read about in the small library in the hospital back on Corstris. </p><p>Doctor Keel now also stumbled backward raising his hands. </p><p>"I am very sorry Commander for the way you have been treated", Doctor Keel stated and he sounded -  scared? </p><p>You really started to regret your life choices. Starting with whatever got you to that hospital on Corstris with no memory to probably being killed one flying space ship.</p><p>The eyes of the said Commander scanned the room. His face was expressionless. It was as if he wasn't even listening to Doctor Keel basically submitting to him and that's when his eyes locked with yours.</p><p>For a moment you thought you saw something flicker over his face but it was gone the second you had seen it. </p><p>"You!" he yelled pointing at you. " What are you doing here?"</p><p>So this is my death sentence, you thought to yourself while being completely frozen in your spot. You wanted to answer him. You actually wanted to explain yourself to get a chance of surviving the day but you simply couldn't. </p><p>"This is June", doctor Keel quickly called and stumbled across the broken chairs and scattered documents towards you. " She is one of my nurses."</p><p>The Commander's eyes were still fixed to you when he walked towards you. </p><p>You didn't like the way he looked at you. It made you uneasy. If you met that man anywhere else than here, you would have mistaken his stare as some sort of flirtation. The only flirtation that could be associated in this situation was him flirting with death. Probably your death.</p><p>"Y- you know you that General Hux asked me to recruit a few more nurses from my old workplace, right?" doctor keel asked and protectively put an arm around you. " Do you remember that?" </p><p>But he ignored him again and with every step he took towards you, you felt more and more fear. Suddenly doctor Keel was the only thing that was between the two of you. You could feel the other nurses staring and you desperately wished you could switch places with one of them.</p><p>"Move", was the only thing he said when his eyes locked with the man standing in front of you. </p><p>"She hasn't done anything wrong, Sir", doctor Keel said in a pleading voice but the dark-haired man just shoved him aside.</p><p>"Yet."</p><p>"What?" I stuttered. </p><p>"You haven't done anything wrong yet."</p><p>"I dot know what you mean, Sir", you replied. It felt like you were about to explode out of fear. You could see his ignited laser stick - sword - or whatever in his hand and you really did not want to be sliced like the tables. You weren't a damn cake.</p><p>But before you could even flinch, he shut off the red buzzing weapon. </p><p>He stared at you for a few more seconds and you were sure you stopped breathing for a few seconds. His eyes stared into yours and you held his stare. He had beautiful eyes. You really had to admit that. It didn't change that he was a dick though.</p><p>Finally, after what felt like hours, he broke his stare and pulled back walking towards the door. You could feel how you let out the breath you had been holding as well as the tension that was still in the room.</p><p> Everyone just seemed to anticipate him leaving. He was already almost out of the door as you heard his voice once again.</p><p>"She shouldn't be here."</p><p>"Excuse me?" you asked. You normally weren't the person to speak up. Especially in situations like this but you felt how anger overcame your body. You had never felt this kind of anger before. It felt like electricity was chasing through you. </p><p>"I think you heard me", was the only thing he had to say to that. </p><p>And just like that was gone. </p><p>You clenched your fists. It wasn't like you had done anything wrong. He was just a lunatic toddler. Well, a very dangerous lunatic toddler but that still didn't make this right at all.</p><p>You hoped he would bleed to death on whatever wound he came in for in the first place.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Have we met before?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺. 𝘐𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘶𝘥𝘰𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺! 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘯.</p>
<p>𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘣𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦! </p>
<p>𝘈𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘤 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What the criff was that?" Lexi asked as soon as the black figure had left the medical bay.</p>
<p>You really had no answer to that question even though you wished you had. The whole situation had felt unreal. You had never seen someone raging so much over - over what? You didn't even know what had led to the Commander losing his mind. It surely couldn't have been just Laura telling him to wait until a doctor could see him. That would be insane.</p>
<p>But on the other hand, the Commander seemed to be not exactly the sanest person. </p>
<p>You had no idea why he acted so obnoxious towards you. He did not even know you. He could have heard that you weren't a real nurse - yet. <br/>Maybe that's why he said you didn't belong but you had a feeling that wasn't really the case here. </p>
<p>"You better have an explanation for this Doctor", Laura added to Lexi's comment. Her face was still filled with an expression of horror and you couldn't blame her. </p>
<p>Everyone was starring at Doctor Keel who was still standing only a few feet away from you. </p>
<p>On every other day, the medical bay was filled with noises. You would hear the beeping of the monitors, quiet chattering, and the announcements of which patient was called up to the office every once in a while but now it was dead silent. It seemed like no one dared to speak. </p>
<p>Everyone was waiting for Doctor Keel to answer the question everyone was asking themselves.</p>
<p>"Short story: He is insane", Doctor Keel said rubbing his temples. "But we can obviously never acknowledge that so just do whatever he says I guess."</p>
<p>You watched the Doctor expecting him to go on with his explanation but he just sighed. </p>
<p>"Let's clean up before we get an emergency and can't help. We will discuss this topic further later."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"This is insane", Lexi murmured while stirring in the grey pulp that was supposed to be lunch at the cantina.</p>
<p>"I know", you said while taking a bite of the disgusting slime they call food. "Do you regret coming here?"</p>
<p>"I really don't know", she replied. "I mean we haven't even been here a week and the pay is good and all but I don't want to die because some dude decides that slicing my head off is fun."</p>
<p>Cleaning up the medical bay hasn't been exactly fun and Doctor Keel wasn't really able to explain why the Commander felt the need to have his temper tantrum in the medical bay. At this point, you did not even care anymore about his reasoning because it did not excuse his actions.</p>
<p>"I think we should be fine if we just stay out of his way I guess", you said. "I really do not look forward to seeing this guy again."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I mean the way he acted towards you was just insane. Insanely rude and weird."</p>
<p>Taking the last bite of your meal you just nodded unable to speak at the moment but Lexi didn't even wait for a reply as she continued.</p>
<p>"I have a conspiracy theory", she added.</p>
<p>Swallowing you gave her a strange look. "Uh okay. And what is this conspiracy about?"</p>
<p>Lexi rolled her eyes. "About the way, he acted towards you duh."</p>
<p>You couldn't help but laugh. Lexi always made up her theories about everyone and everything. She was very outspoken about the fact that the lady from the cafeteria of the hospital back on Corstris served Pierogi every single time Doctor Abrams, a heart surgeon who only came a couple of times a month because she was in love with him. She was also convinced that one of the high ranking generals of the First Order originally belonged to the Resistance and that Wookies were just a genetic experiment gone wrong. Lexi also came up with several theories about your past life but you really did not believe a word she had to say.</p>
<p>"Well, go ahead", you laughed. "Tell me all your theories on why the Commander hates me. What about tying him to my past as well. Maybe I was a secret spy for the Resistance or something and he tried to kill me but did not succeed and now he wants to get rid of me." It was obvious that you were joking but Lexi did not seem to enjoy your joke.</p>
<p>She glared at you. "Well if you don't want to hear my theories you could have just said it." She pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively. "Words can hurt."</p>
<p>"Okay, I am sorry Lex", you said not feeling sorry at all and Lexi seemed to notice because she started to put her plate on yours, ready to head out.</p>
<p>"I am sorry. I really am. Come on."</p>
<p>Lexi did not seem to be fully convinced but she stilled and waited for you to go on. </p>
<p>"I am sorry I made fun of your conspiracy. You know I love listening to them."</p>
<p>She smiled and fell back on her chair. "Listen up because I think he actually knows you."</p>
<p>You groaned. "Lexi come on that is ridiculous." </p>
<p>"It is not. It makes perfect sense."</p>
<p>"And how is that?" you asked not convinced at all.</p>
<p>"Why would he act the way he did towards you if he didn't know you?"</p>
<p>"Well, maybe because he is a giant ass", you suggested. "Or maybe he heard about me not being a real nurse yet. He seems like the kind of person to get angry about literally everything."</p>
<p>"True but he acted strangely towards you. You can't deny this."</p>
<p>"Whatever." Grabbing both of the plates you were heading to the exit, Lexi still talking about her theories, when you walked into Kayla. You smiled her while passing her but she grabbed your arm so you had to stop in your tracks.</p>
<p>"Hey, I am glad to see you here", she said. "Doctor Keel asked me to tell you to come back to the medical wing after lunch.</p>
<p>"But I am not scheduled for the afternoon."</p>
<p>"I know but apparently they want you to do some physical therapy with a patient this afternoon. It seemed kind of urgent."</p>
<p>"Physical therapy?" Lexi asked. "Why would they want you for that?"</p>
<p>You rolled your eyes. "Well thank you, Lexi." </p>
<p>"Oh come on, you know what I meant."</p>
<p>You did know what she meant. You had worked with patients that required physical therapy before but only as a substitute for the real physical therapists and they had plenty on Starkiller base. It was strange that they would schedule you for that. Especially, when you didn't even have had your final exam yet.</p>
<p>Kayla shrugged. "Only one way to find out."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The walk from the cafeteria to the medical bay wasn't as long as you thought it was originally. Turns out knowing the way and not getting lost really helps to be on time. </p>
<p>Doctor Keel was nowhere to be seen when you arrived so you decided to ask the receptionist if she knew what was going on. She explained that Doctor Keel was in surgery as of right now but he left instructions for you and asked you to meet a patient in one of the rooms reserved for the generals and higher-ranking officers on the ship in about half an hour. </p>
<p>You furrowed your brows still unsure of what was going on. Sure, you were definitely able to do physical therapy but you were surprised that you would be working with a higher ranking officer on this ship. The thought of this made you a bit uncomfortable because you really did not want to screw anything up.</p>
<p>"Do you have any other information on who the patient is or what the injury is?" you asked the middle-aged lady sitting at the reception desk in front of you. But she just shook her head.</p>
<p>"I am sorry my dear but I know as much as you do."</p>
<p>You thanked her nonetheless and headed to the room where said patient should be arriving within the next thirty minutes. It was difficult to be preparing a room not knowing what exactly you would be working with but you tried your best as you made sure everything was sterilized.</p>
<p>Minutes passed by and you had gotten lost in your thoughts as you heard footsteps approaching you. </p>
<p>"You are early."</p>
<p>You did not know what you expected but it definitely was not a certain Commander. </p>
<p>Not sure of what to say or what to feel you just stood in the middle of the room staring at him.</p>
<p>"It is expected of you to reply when a high ranking Commander speaks to you", he stated drawing closer to you.</p>
<p>"Of course, Sir", you replied not knowing what else to say while taking a step back. Every single cell of your body despised him but you knew being impolite would only get you in more trouble so you just kept your hate to yourself. </p>
<p>"How can I help you today?" you asked with the sweetest voice you could fake.</p>
<p>"I came into the medical bay this morning due to an injury. I am not sure if you recall that", he stated and you decided right that moment to hate this men for forever. </p>
<p>"I, unfortunately, did not receive the help I was looking for", he continued. "Luckily, someone finally did their job and gave me the medical attention that I needed and that particular nurse told me that I would need physical therapy to get back in form."</p>
<p>He scoffed. " I told her that it was unnecessary but she insisted."</p>
<p>"Well", you said, " what kind of injury do you have, Sir?"</p>
<p>He wordlessly handed you his file he had been holding while eyeing you. It made you extremely uncomfortable but you tried to focus on his file. You skimmed over the documents while he was tapping his foot impatiently.</p>
<p>"Okay, I see you have a ligament injury. It's on the right side is that correct?" you asked looking up from his file.</p>
<p>"Can't you read?"</p>
<p>"Excuse me?" Starring at him you saw how his lips curled into a smirk.</p>
<p>"Well, it should say it in the file. Unless you are not able to read it should be clear."</p>
<p>You swallowed and clenched your hand that was not holding the file into a fist. It would really be unfortunate to lose your temper but you did not like how he seemed to always feel superior wherever he went. You only had seen this men twice but those times felt like more than enough.</p>
<p>"Listen, Commander," you began trying to keep your voice calm and steady. " I don't know what game you are playing but I am not here to entertain you. If you have nothing better to do than let your frustration out on me than I suggest you leave so I can attend the needs of people in real need." </p>
<p>For a moment he said nothing than he let out a soft chuckle. He almost seemed like a normal person at that moment. Almost.</p>
<p>"You are here for whatever I say you are", he said while approaching you again. "Don't forget who is in charge here."</p>
<p>"Why was I asked to help you with your physical therapy?" you asked him trying to fight the urge to take a step back again. "I am not even a real nurse yet."</p>
<p>"I thought it would be interesting", he said simply and the words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them.</p>
<p>"Have we met before?"</p>
<p>His facial expression changed and you could see that he was caught off guard for a moment.</p>
<p>You did not know why you asked that. Maybe it was Lexi's stupid theories or maybe you wanted to confuse him as much as he was irritating you. Whatever it was that made you say it didn't matter anyway. You said it and there was no taking it back. You probably sounded insane.</p>
<p>"Of course not", he scoffed. "Where in this galaxy would I have met you?"</p>
<p>He was right and you knew it and you instantly regretted even speaking up.</p>
<p>"Plus, even if we had met I surely wouldn't remember someone so unimportant then you."</p>
<p>His words hurt a little and you desperately wanted to get out of this whole situation. You did not even feel the urge to start a debate. You knew he was right. There was no point in arguing.</p>
<p>You cleared your throat before you spoke up again. "Very well Sir, you said turning away from him so he wouldn't see how your hands suddenly started to shake. You felt dumb for letting his words get to you but you always had been a little sensitive. You were the kind of nurse that would always be a little too attached to the patients and you couldn't help but feel defeated whenever you were not able to save someone.</p>
<p>"Let me gather a few things so we can start immediately." You started to head to the cabinets where the expansion straps where stored but you felt a hand grabbing a wist. Not violently but almost gently.</p>
<p>Kylo Ren apparently had a thing for starring right in your soul because for the second time today you found yourself a little to close to a certain impolite and impatient Commander.</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>"No?" you asked not sure if you hear him correctly.</p>
<p>"I still have meetings to attend today", he replied still holding on to your wrist.</p>
<p>"I just came in today to inform you that you will be coming to my quarters after your shift starting tomorrow so you can do your job."</p>
<p>Startled you tried to pull your arm away from him but he was still not letting go. It wasn't uncomfortable or hurting you but it felt weird. Almost intimate. You were sure he was just doing this to make you more uncomfortable.</p>
<p>"We have fully equipped rooms here as you can see Sir", you began but he cut you of swiftly.</p>
<p>"I ordered you to come to my quarters tomorrow after your shift. I do not want to hear any complaints" he stated, finally letting go of your wrist.</p>
<p>He was almost out of the door when you made him stop.</p>
<p>"Why me?" you asked.</p>
<p>He turned around, an annoying smirk plastered on his face.</p>
<p>"Because I want to keep an eye on you."</p>
<p>"What does that even mean?"</p>
<p>"It means you were brought here by a Doctor that was instructed to bring nurses to this ship." He looked you up and down. "You aren't a nurse. Don't want you to mess something up."</p>
<p>His smirk grew even wider. "That would mean punishment and we don't want that, right?"</p>
<p>"Right", you said coldly watching him finally leaving the room giving you the peace you were longing for the second time today.</p>
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